4 Calling Birds - Chapter 3

It was sprinkling, for Christmas time in Kyzil Plateau does not fall during a winter of any sort; rather, a wet season.
Clank lay inside the garage where he and his life partner dwelt, the interior of which had a sole stream of tinsel strewn across the back wall.
He laid and listened to the rain on the rooftop. And laid. And laid.
He laid on his back. He laid on his chest. He laid on his side. He laid in a lotus position. He laid in a missionary position - wait, no.

Clank was just about asleep when Ratchet came back carrying a large parcel. Suddenly, Clank perked up.
"Oh Ratchet, you shouldn't have!" he said dreamily.
"What?! No," Ratchet protested, "this came in the mail."
Clank crossed his arms in mild disappointment.
"Hey, it's not like you got me anything."
"Only because I cannot access the required funds since you keep hiding your manbag!"
"Hey, I'm a free tom!"
They both fell silent for a few seconds. Then Clank inquired, "So where have you been for the last 11 hours, 12 minutes and 16 seconds?"
"I had to go all the way to the post office and back to send Cronk and Zephyr their Christmas present."
"Ah yes, they will love that book of photography of Magnus. I feel they missed out on so much of it; the cliffs, the forests, the seas, the culture, even the lowest life forms right down to the slugs, leeches, and spambot programmers." He looked at the parcel. "And what is that?"
"Qwark sent it to us. I hope it's worth the five-hour walk to Veldin's only post office."
"There appears to be a letter attached."
There was a letter attached. Ratchet grasped it, and knelt down so Clank could read it next to him.

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE POLARIS GALAXY

Dear Ratshet and Clank

Prezedint Qwark adoptid me. Im really happy in my new home now.
I sended this for bofe of U. I hope u have a good Christmas.

Luv, Susie. XOXOXO

"Woah," Ratchet joked. "For a second there, I thought Qwark wrote it."
Ratchet and Clank set the parcel down, then sat in front of it. They unwrapped it together.
They opened the resulting naked box to fish out the contents.
It was Susie's helmet.

"You know, Ratchet, I think I received my present early. Nine years early, to be precise."
"You know somethin', pal? So did I." Ratchet held his friend to his chest.
"Merry Christmas."






"First dibs on the helmet!"